Newshogg – Game of Kongs

Another week, another round of news. It’s almost as if this was a dynamic industry that continues to grow inexorably – even if that growth is likely linked to a single gargantuan title. BOOM! A news piece in the introduction; is there nothing I can’t do?

James McKibbin – who our source* suggests is made entirely of fire – gather a whole heap of news, and below I’ve distilled it into that delicious news you crave fortnightly (smart-arse).

*Our source may be a perpetually drunk Canadian.

* * *

The Station

  • I played a Gran Turismo once on the PlayStation 2. Two friends and I took turns on some ridiculously-long race. If it wasn’t for the camaraderie and the pre-mixed bourbon cans (hey, I was young, drinking cheap shit was acceptable) it would have been the single most boring gaming experience of my life. But hey, for some reason them games are hugely popular.
    Sadly then for those masochistic fans, Gran Turismo 7 will only make release in 2014 in the ‘best case scenario.’

* * *

The Bonepile

  • Want to know the full line-up of Xbone launch titles? We’ve got you covered! And by we, I mean Joystiq, because they do this thing for a living, and probably don’t drink scotch while they put together their news posts. 1, Joystiq 1,000,000.
  • The Xbone Online Store is live as we speak. In a move that will surprise no-one outside of North America (and they wouldn’t care anyway), the regional pricing bullshit is continuing on into the “next” generation, just as we all knew it would. Hey fuckos, 60USD does not convert to 55GBP or 100AUD.
  • Whilst I don’t think Microsoft could ever beat the clusterfuck that was the 360’s RRoD issue, there are early reports that some users are receiving broken Xbones – specifically a broken disc drive. But hey, at least if you’ve got a cocked-up Xbone, they’ll give you a free game.
  • Remember when Sony were all like “Nerny nerny ner ner” because they were getting exclusive DLC content for the upcoming Metal Gear Solid 5? Well, now Microsoft are suggestively grabbing their crotch and grinning as they announce they too have secured some exclusive DLC content.
    Just remember, whichever company wins, it’s the consumer that loses out with this sort of bullshit.

* * *


In Denver, Colorado a championship played out for the world title of a game that is older than I am. That’s right – the third annual Kong Off took place, with Jeff Wilms successfully defending his title.

* * *

Wallet (Steam) Clean Out

The Spring/Autumn Steam Sale (bless their little hearts for localising it for us antipodeans) has begun, so prepare yourself for the buying of more games than you can possibly play before the grandaddy of all sales starts around Christmas time. Also worth keeping in mind that Amazon has some great Black Friday deals that amount to Steam keys cheaper than what Steam is offering.

* * *

User Re-Poos

Steam has now added user reviews to product pages, and in case you can’t tell from the headline, I don’t think this is a good idea. Apparently nobody at Valve actually reads anything on the Steam Forums, or they’d realise your average Steam user is about as reasonable and mature as your average YouTube commenter.

So if you want to save your favourite games from drowning in a sea of vitriol, consider giving them a review.

* * *

iBuy With My Little Wallet

We’ve known for a while now that there would be non-Valve GabeCubes, that’s pretty much all we knew. Now we have images and a few specs thanks to Engadget. Basically, it looks like the type of sandwich GLaDOS would have for lunch.

* * *

Sexism of the Storm

In a recent interview between RPS and Blizzard the issue of hypersexualisation of female characters was brought up, and Blizzard was entirely unprepared for the question and seemingly unwilling to approach the issue. Thankfully though, Blizzard’s Browder has re-approached the issue, and has apologised for being less than engaged with something that is a huge issue for most female gamers, and many male ones.

* * *

Telltale of Thrones

It seems that after their highly successful take on The Walking Dead, Telltale Games are being given a shot at adapting another book/TV series into their particular brand of adventure game – Game of Thrones. After the abysmal-to-varying-degrees Game of Thrones: Genesis and Game of Thrones: The Role-Playing Game, they surely can’t do any worse.

* * *

Child’s Bus

The Child’s Play Charity (which really needs to be released from the shackles of Penny Arcade before it is destroyed along with their reputation) has raised 2.5 million dollars in 2013, and over half a million of that has been from the Desert Bus marathon alone.


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